That's what I'm feeling like lately. Like I'm coming in sub-par as a wife, mom, friend, employee, daughter, neice, sister, church member etc. Really everything. I've got a million and eight things running thru my mind constantly of things that need to get done. I have a problem saying no and I'm realizing that my once full plate is now running over. I mentioned once before that it bothered me that I couldn't "keep my word" as I once had. I don't call back, I don't email, favors and requests go weeks before I can even attempt to acknowledge them. Geez louise, something's gotta give right? Now just figuring what's gotta go is the difficult part. I hate to let people down... but really that's exactly what I'm doing.
All of this is spawned from and email I got from my coworker this morn. I was late (been running late all week, but before this I had really been doing pretty well if you can believe that) and he sent me an email in regards to how tardiness at work really adds up over the year. Infuriated me, but I didn't say anything. In fact I'm still biting my tongue b/c I know that if it weren't true then it wouldn't have made a hill of beans difference to me. So I've got some improving to do. I refuse to get another little email like that. I refuse to feel rushed with my child at any time in the day. I refuse to allow my husband to live off of Doritos and gatorade b/c I can't seem to remember the way to my kitchen. (Oh and as a little disclaimer, KJ does EXCELLENTLY in helping the house run smoothly. He does cook, but for the most part he picks the little mini up from day care and that's time consuming in itself. I get home an hour later. So it's 6 or 7 and dinner hasn't even been thought up, let alone arranged to be prepared...hence the mention of the crock pot blog yesterday.) Everything seems to be in a vicious cycle. I can't really get things done in a timely manner at work b/c I'm having to break and pump. I'm not getting as much milk for the little mini b/c I'm sitting at my desk trying to finish up "one more thing" before I go pump. I have long since accepted the fact that you can't be awesome at EVERYTHING, but I'm a strong believer in choosing what you are awesome at. I've got to get my priorities in line and let a few things go.... before I go nut-so.
Okay, this was not a pity post, more so a little helper in helping me hold my tongue. I had to get it out. Had to explain why this morning after waking up at the bootie crack of dawn and packing a million bags for work, daycare, etc, tearing myself away from the sweetest face ever that I don't see near enough during the day, and driving 45 freaking minutes behind every 18 wheeler known to man into a job that I stayed late at last night and almost every night week before last, for which there is no compensation, that I was late. 23 freaking minutes late. sigh.
Happy Wednesday?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
It's Tuesday, It's Tuesday
1) I heard a talk segment on the radio yesterday about "baby daddies" and to say it made me mad would be an understatement. I was disgusted. What the crap is wrong with a women where they would lay up with a man who's not even good to them and then expect them to be excellent fathers. Hellloooo, they dip. I won't even get on how the thought of so many men out there not even acting like they have babies makes my stomach turn. Interestingly enough, Obama has a few ideas on how to increase the involvement of absentee fathers.
2) I'm trying out new shampoos since mine is MIA. So far I'm one frizzy headed, woman. Just for ref, I've tried Pantene for curly hair and now Frutruis and I'm not really happy about either (and they're twice the price that Suave was).
3) So far it sounds like a ranting 10 on Tuesday, but that's not how I'm feeling. Here's something good: my little bad apple at church and I seem to have made it thru the rough stage. He's mellowing out some and I think I've figured out a little better how to deal with him. Still a long way to go, but I can see some progress
4) My parents came to visit on Friday and Sat and I can't possibly describe how they are the best grandparents ever. And I think the little mini knows it.
5) I'm proud to say that I hit KJ's father's day gift dead on! He's so difficult to buy for sometimes b/c he doesn't want anything. Well I remember him mentioning a video golf lesson (so he could see his swing and stuff...), so the little mini got him that and a crimson golf shirt from Under Armor and "we" designed him a card. I think the card was his favorite part... let's just say that we know him really well so it was full of inside jokes.
6) I may get to see Colleen and walking Dash this weekend (oh and John too)! Very excited.
7) I saw this website for crock pot recipes and I'm so going to try it. I think I may need a bigger crock pot though... mine is a "single serving" size.
8) When is it too late to send belated b-day cards? I missed a few bdays in April and May and feel horrible. Dear sweet Caroline and Alana-lana if you're reading this: I'm sooooo sorry! Don't doubt how special you each are to me, just know that my mind has been ridiculously overwhelmed lately and it's running on slow.
9) I am in the throws of planning/helping with a class reunion, and 2 family reunions. I guess summer time is the time to get reunited.
10) A friend approached me about a subject this morn and I have to say that I love the way that she did it. It reminded me how good of friends we really are. She inspired me to "step up my friend game", which sadly I think I've let slip. Too many excuses, none of them good. Love you tons my Tricey and thanks for being my reminder.
2) I'm trying out new shampoos since mine is MIA. So far I'm one frizzy headed, woman. Just for ref, I've tried Pantene for curly hair and now Frutruis and I'm not really happy about either (and they're twice the price that Suave was).
3) So far it sounds like a ranting 10 on Tuesday, but that's not how I'm feeling. Here's something good: my little bad apple at church and I seem to have made it thru the rough stage. He's mellowing out some and I think I've figured out a little better how to deal with him. Still a long way to go, but I can see some progress
4) My parents came to visit on Friday and Sat and I can't possibly describe how they are the best grandparents ever. And I think the little mini knows it.
5) I'm proud to say that I hit KJ's father's day gift dead on! He's so difficult to buy for sometimes b/c he doesn't want anything. Well I remember him mentioning a video golf lesson (so he could see his swing and stuff...), so the little mini got him that and a crimson golf shirt from Under Armor and "we" designed him a card. I think the card was his favorite part... let's just say that we know him really well so it was full of inside jokes.
6) I may get to see Colleen and walking Dash this weekend (oh and John too)! Very excited.
7) I saw this website for crock pot recipes and I'm so going to try it. I think I may need a bigger crock pot though... mine is a "single serving" size.
8) When is it too late to send belated b-day cards? I missed a few bdays in April and May and feel horrible. Dear sweet Caroline and Alana-lana if you're reading this: I'm sooooo sorry! Don't doubt how special you each are to me, just know that my mind has been ridiculously overwhelmed lately and it's running on slow.
9) I am in the throws of planning/helping with a class reunion, and 2 family reunions. I guess summer time is the time to get reunited.
10) A friend approached me about a subject this morn and I have to say that I love the way that she did it. It reminded me how good of friends we really are. She inspired me to "step up my friend game", which sadly I think I've let slip. Too many excuses, none of them good. Love you tons my Tricey and thanks for being my reminder.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The Tuesday 10
1) I have waaayyyy too much paperwork on my desk. Today is the day to purge.
2) Love Kate Voegele. She plays Mia on One Tree Hill and low and behold she's really a recording artist. She's talented, young with a strong voice. Here's her remake of the song Hallelujah:
3) Been on a superhero kick for the last couple of weeks. I'm addicted to Smallville (the story of Superman as a teen, KJ and I rent the old seasons on dvd) and then KJ and I went to see Iron Man on Saturday night. Sigh. Oh how I love super powers.
4) That's right, you read correctly, KJ and I went to a movie. And nope we're not those people who take a small baby to the movie to hope that she won't cry, but secretly know that she will and that it will disrupt everyone else who payed the ridiculous fee for 2 hours of entertainment. hehehe KJ's sister wanted to keep her, so the little mini went to her first sleep over.
5) Our house is crazy quiet without that 10lb bundle of giggles and screams.
6) Army Wives is back on tv! The season started off with a bang (literally). Just in time as most of my other shows are going into re-run phase right now.
7) Last week was ridiculously busy at work. I came in early, I left late. Today is the first day where we've been able to breathe and I have about a million personal tasks to tackle. And yes, I plan on tackling them during work hours.
8) I've been mentally beating myself up about doing what I say I'm going to do. Honestly, I've gotten quite horrible (like if I say I'll call you right back, I normally don't...or if I need to email you something, it might take me waaay longer than it should). I'm going to work on getting better at that, b/c I don't like the thought that my word has lost credibility.
9) I have grandiose Ideas of kindness, but a very small budget. Unfortunately this results in more thoughts than actions. I'm working on changing this also as I know all too well that people need to know you care and that they are thought of.
10) Father's Day is around the corner and I'm actually ahead of the game. The little mini and I have knocked out KJ and my dad, now we just need to figure out what we're getting KJ's dad. Is shopping for all men difficult?
****** Bonus b/c I have so many randoms going thru my mind********
11) I'm forcing myself to finally make the jump to cloth diapers. We've finally used up just about all of our freebies and I currently own 6 bumGeniuses that I'm washing up tonight to test out for the next couple of days. There's about to be a lot of washing going on at our little abode (atleast until I purchase more cloth diapers, but I'm not one to jump into change, I'm more of an ease into it kind of girl). Wish us luck. ;-)
12) I'm on a quest to recreate some of our favorite restaurant dishes. First up is the Jamaican Jerk Chicken wrap from Tropical Smoothie. Oh so yum.
13) Is it wrong to have quams about helping people who make no effort to help themselves. There's a woman at church who has a niece that's young (17, 18, or 19) and had a baby girl around the same time I had the little mini. The girl's boyfriend is apparently a drug dealer and she does not work. Anywho the lady at church has stopped me on several occasions when I've got the little mini and said, "Oh, that's a cute outfit. Just pack up the clothes she can't wear anymore and I'll pick them up and give them to my niece. I'm so tired of seeing her baby in the same onesies." This is going to make me sound mean, but I always think. "Sorry, not my problem. Tell your lazy niece to get off her bum and go get a job." I'm praying on the situation and doing some studying up on the act of being kind. I'm a huge believer in not handicapping someone with kindness, by not allowing them to take care of themselves if they are capable. Plus the lady at church comes across gruff, although I know she's not always intending to, but I always think, "Oh sister, you don't know me. You can't MAKE me do anything." I've got some growing to do.
14) Do you all use you tube? I've been trying to upload videos for the fam, but having a little trouble with the private option. Is there another thing like you tube that allows you to share videos?
15) Okay, that's it. I've got to clear off my desk and then start tackling some of this Personal Task List. Geez louise. Will there ever be a day when I can look around and think, "My, I have absolutely nothing to do?" hehehe I'm not thinking so. And for picture sake...This is the progression of the face that says, "I'm making you a surprise in my pants." aka "the poop face" (If I ever get out of my house then I'll take pics of more than just the little mini, but until then, bare with me. ;-) )
2) Love Kate Voegele. She plays Mia on One Tree Hill and low and behold she's really a recording artist. She's talented, young with a strong voice. Here's her remake of the song Hallelujah:
3) Been on a superhero kick for the last couple of weeks. I'm addicted to Smallville (the story of Superman as a teen, KJ and I rent the old seasons on dvd) and then KJ and I went to see Iron Man on Saturday night. Sigh. Oh how I love super powers.
4) That's right, you read correctly, KJ and I went to a movie. And nope we're not those people who take a small baby to the movie to hope that she won't cry, but secretly know that she will and that it will disrupt everyone else who payed the ridiculous fee for 2 hours of entertainment. hehehe KJ's sister wanted to keep her, so the little mini went to her first sleep over.
5) Our house is crazy quiet without that 10lb bundle of giggles and screams.
6) Army Wives is back on tv! The season started off with a bang (literally). Just in time as most of my other shows are going into re-run phase right now.
7) Last week was ridiculously busy at work. I came in early, I left late. Today is the first day where we've been able to breathe and I have about a million personal tasks to tackle. And yes, I plan on tackling them during work hours.
8) I've been mentally beating myself up about doing what I say I'm going to do. Honestly, I've gotten quite horrible (like if I say I'll call you right back, I normally don't...or if I need to email you something, it might take me waaay longer than it should). I'm going to work on getting better at that, b/c I don't like the thought that my word has lost credibility.
9) I have grandiose Ideas of kindness, but a very small budget. Unfortunately this results in more thoughts than actions. I'm working on changing this also as I know all too well that people need to know you care and that they are thought of.
10) Father's Day is around the corner and I'm actually ahead of the game. The little mini and I have knocked out KJ and my dad, now we just need to figure out what we're getting KJ's dad. Is shopping for all men difficult?
****** Bonus b/c I have so many randoms going thru my mind********
11) I'm forcing myself to finally make the jump to cloth diapers. We've finally used up just about all of our freebies and I currently own 6 bumGeniuses that I'm washing up tonight to test out for the next couple of days. There's about to be a lot of washing going on at our little abode (atleast until I purchase more cloth diapers, but I'm not one to jump into change, I'm more of an ease into it kind of girl). Wish us luck. ;-)
12) I'm on a quest to recreate some of our favorite restaurant dishes. First up is the Jamaican Jerk Chicken wrap from Tropical Smoothie. Oh so yum.
13) Is it wrong to have quams about helping people who make no effort to help themselves. There's a woman at church who has a niece that's young (17, 18, or 19) and had a baby girl around the same time I had the little mini. The girl's boyfriend is apparently a drug dealer and she does not work. Anywho the lady at church has stopped me on several occasions when I've got the little mini and said, "Oh, that's a cute outfit. Just pack up the clothes she can't wear anymore and I'll pick them up and give them to my niece. I'm so tired of seeing her baby in the same onesies." This is going to make me sound mean, but I always think. "Sorry, not my problem. Tell your lazy niece to get off her bum and go get a job." I'm praying on the situation and doing some studying up on the act of being kind. I'm a huge believer in not handicapping someone with kindness, by not allowing them to take care of themselves if they are capable. Plus the lady at church comes across gruff, although I know she's not always intending to, but I always think, "Oh sister, you don't know me. You can't MAKE me do anything." I've got some growing to do.
14) Do you all use you tube? I've been trying to upload videos for the fam, but having a little trouble with the private option. Is there another thing like you tube that allows you to share videos?
15) Okay, that's it. I've got to clear off my desk and then start tackling some of this Personal Task List. Geez louise. Will there ever be a day when I can look around and think, "My, I have absolutely nothing to do?" hehehe I'm not thinking so. And for picture sake...This is the progression of the face that says, "I'm making you a surprise in my pants." aka "the poop face" (If I ever get out of my house then I'll take pics of more than just the little mini, but until then, bare with me. ;-) )
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Top 10 on Tuesday
(Like how I threw the "Top" in there for variety"
1) Why in the world have they discontinued Suave for curly hair? Seriously, I found one bottle of shampoo at Dollar General. I'm still in search of some conditioner...
2) Yesterday I had to reason with myself as to why I could not eat oatmeal cookies for breakfast. Although, of all the desserts, don't you think oatmeal cookies and carrot cake sound remotely nutritious?
3) Gotta start cooking. Gotta. I think I'm going to go on a casserole crusade. Any ideas?
4) Trying to pull together KJ's daddy's day gift. He wants a video-taped golf lesson so that he can better see his form for improvement. Shamefully, I was trying to reserve this gift for his bday b/c there's just not a lot of things that he ever says he wants.
5) When little ones poop in the tub, it is absolutely gross, but the face they make when doing it is hilarious. Kind of like shock and "maybe you won't notice" all in one expression. I'm not calling any names, so this person shall remain anonymous.
6) Went to Target and scored some new shirts. Now I just need new shoes. Does anyone know when Dillards does their shoe sale? It's the best...
7) Speaking of sales, it's Semi Annual time for Bath and Body and Vicky Secret. I'm going to try and hit both up... heaven knows I need to clean out my undie drawer.
8) The environment friendly non-toxic Method cleaning products are pretty good. I love the eucalyptus mint bathroom scrub. I've been using it frequently to clean out the tub in the middle of and after someone who shall remain anonymous' bath...
9) I really really like this song. It makes me turn my radio up loud and bounce around in the driver's seat.
10) I'm getting the itching for a girls' weekend. Wish gas and plane tickets weren't only for the rich and famous. ;-)
1) Why in the world have they discontinued Suave for curly hair? Seriously, I found one bottle of shampoo at Dollar General. I'm still in search of some conditioner...2) Yesterday I had to reason with myself as to why I could not eat oatmeal cookies for breakfast. Although, of all the desserts, don't you think oatmeal cookies and carrot cake sound remotely nutritious?
3) Gotta start cooking. Gotta. I think I'm going to go on a casserole crusade. Any ideas?
4) Trying to pull together KJ's daddy's day gift. He wants a video-taped golf lesson so that he can better see his form for improvement. Shamefully, I was trying to reserve this gift for his bday b/c there's just not a lot of things that he ever says he wants.
5) When little ones poop in the tub, it is absolutely gross, but the face they make when doing it is hilarious. Kind of like shock and "maybe you won't notice" all in one expression. I'm not calling any names, so this person shall remain anonymous.6) Went to Target and scored some new shirts. Now I just need new shoes. Does anyone know when Dillards does their shoe sale? It's the best...
7) Speaking of sales, it's Semi Annual time for Bath and Body and Vicky Secret. I'm going to try and hit both up... heaven knows I need to clean out my undie drawer.
8) The environment friendly non-toxic Method cleaning products are pretty good. I love the eucalyptus mint bathroom scrub. I've been using it frequently to clean out the tub in the middle of and after someone who shall remain anonymous' bath...
9) I really really like this song. It makes me turn my radio up loud and bounce around in the driver's seat.
10) I'm getting the itching for a girls' weekend. Wish gas and plane tickets weren't only for the rich and famous. ;-)
Monday, June 02, 2008
It's Monday...
Funny how no matter how long of a weekend you have, Monday seems to come crashing in way too soon.
On Friday our company went canoeing. LOL. Good times. I must say that navigating a canoe is a little more difficult than a kayak as my partner and I kept running into tree branches and stumps along the river's edge, but although we may not be Olympic condition yet, we laughed the entire time. My only fear was that I might have a tick in my hair after going thru so many branches... After washing my hair on Friday, Sat and Sun, I'm glad to report that I'm tick free. ;) And just as I had suspected, canoeing was great exercise (although my arms weren't really that sore the next day...) but in the non tedious way. I'm up for doing it again.
On Sat. I took the little mini to Sears to get some quick pics made. She did well, although she was so not trying to smile, more so curious as to why she was there. I've determined that portrait studios for kids is the ultimate job for easy up-selling. It's hard to resist a cute pic of your own kid. I went in with a coupon for 1 pose several pictures and I ended up leaving with 1 pic from 4 poses. Spent a little more than I intended, but I'm chalking it up to a learning experience, and plan on just scanning the 8x10s and turning them into wallets at home.
The rest of the weekend was pretty easy going. KJ made the best dinner of ribs and lamb with potatos au gratin and green beans. Just thinking of that lamb makes my mouth water! Anywho, we had friends over for dinner and then KJ proceeded to wipe us all out in Monopoly. They hadn't played since they were children and they failed to heed to my warnings that by no means do you deal with KJ, but again a learning experience (for them). By the end of the game KJ owned just about every property and had established what we called "Suicide Lane" on two sides of the board.
So a pretty easy going weekend. I didn't get half the things done that I probably needed to, but nothing was urgent, so no worries.
Happy Monday all!
On Friday our company went canoeing. LOL. Good times. I must say that navigating a canoe is a little more difficult than a kayak as my partner and I kept running into tree branches and stumps along the river's edge, but although we may not be Olympic condition yet, we laughed the entire time. My only fear was that I might have a tick in my hair after going thru so many branches... After washing my hair on Friday, Sat and Sun, I'm glad to report that I'm tick free. ;) And just as I had suspected, canoeing was great exercise (although my arms weren't really that sore the next day...) but in the non tedious way. I'm up for doing it again.
On Sat. I took the little mini to Sears to get some quick pics made. She did well, although she was so not trying to smile, more so curious as to why she was there. I've determined that portrait studios for kids is the ultimate job for easy up-selling. It's hard to resist a cute pic of your own kid. I went in with a coupon for 1 pose several pictures and I ended up leaving with 1 pic from 4 poses. Spent a little more than I intended, but I'm chalking it up to a learning experience, and plan on just scanning the 8x10s and turning them into wallets at home.The rest of the weekend was pretty easy going. KJ made the best dinner of ribs and lamb with potatos au gratin and green beans. Just thinking of that lamb makes my mouth water! Anywho, we had friends over for dinner and then KJ proceeded to wipe us all out in Monopoly. They hadn't played since they were children and they failed to heed to my warnings that by no means do you deal with KJ, but again a learning experience (for them). By the end of the game KJ owned just about every property and had established what we called "Suicide Lane" on two sides of the board.
So a pretty easy going weekend. I didn't get half the things done that I probably needed to, but nothing was urgent, so no worries.
Happy Monday all!
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